Saturday, May 22, 2004  
heh. brian's finally back from KL. missed him so much yest when he went to KL. ack! alright, basically he bluffed me! that silly lil pok! that tym i went JB w my mom for lyk 1 day but i bluffed the silly dearie :) so i was actually back but i told him i was still in KL. heh but i figured he knew hehehe. so he did the same to me! he was actually back on thurs nite at abt 930 but he din tell me! dummy. heh so when he called me on thurs nite abt almost 10. i was lyk HUH? cos the number was a singapore number. 645 sth so it was an amk number! haha cant believe i didnt suspect or doubt him! plus after that he was talkin abt customs. i was lyk huh but i didnt think much abt it.
then he called patty's! i was so shocked when hai said its brian. i was lyk huh, he called patty's for what. then he told me he's outside. i kinda guessed alr hehehhe. so happy. i just hugged him but he said he'd haf hugged and kissed me iv hai din come. that kaypoh la hahaha.
yeah so luckily i met grace for lunch for only 45mins so we went BK a whilee then went to hmmmmmm hehehhe i missed him so much. really love that boy! he gamme my stuff! christian dior FAKE handbag. and its the reporter bag, not saddle bag. but well i guess its still ok. and he put anna sui nail polish inside. tot he bought me a bikini, but it was anna sui nail polish. he said he almost bought me looose powder. gosh i wish he had bought that instead!!! or lip gloss. so overall quite disappointed w my present but just glad he's back. after that he came to my hse there and we went behind to eat, more lyk i watch him eat actually :) but happy to just see him eat, tho he din really lyk the food.
then we sat on the pavement at the houses near the scary house and it was really romantic. the stars were so nice! and the clouds were floating :) very very nice. plus the soft gentle kisses. everyth was so delicate. i loved it :) tho he was kinda angry w me cos i raised my voice to him when we couldnt decide where to meet on the phone. but my mom was hurryin me to eat dinner! argh and i really din know where to meet. but well he was kinda moody but it got better. cos my parents went for alpha course so i din tell my parents i was gg out for awhile cos my mom already knew brian came over to my workplace in the afternoon cos of the big zara bag i was carryin which brian gave.
anw my mom knows abt us kissing and stuff. ack. stupid me. i went joggin and left my hps on her bed and i knew it was a mistake. anw she read it but well she didnt flare up or anyth, thank god. my cute lil brian. still love him tons.
was kinda disappointed just now cos i tot we could meet cos his cg dinner might be cancelled but it was on. i had my hopes so high so i was kinda disappointed. but well. we werent supp to meet and i know he's always puttin God first. which is gd.
yest i told him he's my world. and he said i shldnt say that cos God is our world. w/o god, no brian. which is true. i felt sooooo bad for sayin that. thats what i want. a guy like that i guess ;) oh well. disappointed :( this wk met him so lil.
anw i was also quite upset cos he told me he bought sth for eugenia from KL. so lyk HMMM. i kept wonderin why lah. as in he always buy her stuff when he goes somewhere, lyk bali KL, and he tells me they're not that close? then why will he buy stuff for her. i think he only bought for me his bro and diana maybe? i din ask iv he bought for her, dun really wanna know also. then he buy for eugenia? lyk huh? is she always on his mind that he'll get sth for her. cos she'll surely get wrong idea. i just know that. he's so nice to her. argh. but well i guess i gotta trust him. its his choice. i cant stop him from buyin stuff for her or talkin to her etc. i do know he's mine :) and he only has feelings for me. so i guess i shld more or less be assured. well i'm proud i managed to keep cool and not flare or anyth gettin so jealous and stuff. oh well.
sometimes i just hate it that he was w her before. why couldnt i get him first? sigh. well, i guess its better than nth. as long as its god's will. gosh i feel lyk i'm driftin apart from God.. i dunno man. sigh. okay better get off. mommy comin in 15mins and i wanna beg her to go guess w me cos theres a sale and i cant get my mind off it :( i'm really a shoppaholic. i really need a rich husband or sth. and yest when kenneth told me his dad has a mercs etc. i immediately msged him back etc. lyk shit i'm damn materialistic! argh! hhaha. and i think brian will never be rich? well, we'll see abt it.
i dont want fake christian dior.
i dont wanna walk or take bus.
*sigh*
shld i choose money or love?

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/22/2004 03:12:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Monday, May 17, 2004  
just met b for lunch. he came over again to haf lunch w me :) had fish soup noodles and then we went tcc to drink coffee! :) i love him.
yest went shoppin w celest then to watch troy w brian at great world :) it was so crowded we were seated 8th row from front. it was quite nice. but so disappointed w orlando bloom. and brad pitt's body is yummylicious. heh. and for the 1st tym, since it was so crowded, we din even do the usual things :) heh. he has a bod lyk brad pitt. he's MY BRAD PITT *grin* he's sucha darl :)
we went to eat at the hawker centre opp then took cab home. smoochin all the way back in the cab :) so nice :) heh. cant ever seem to get sian of him. ever. he paid for the cab fare :)
and yest we held hands during the movie and he stroked it again. i suddenly forgot abt it. it's been a long tym. guess we've been to caught up w other stuff i simply forgot abt the initial stuff :) the simplest and purest of things :)
cant imagine how it'd be lyk when he's in KL. i'll miss him so much. argh. plus he wont be ard to calm me down for my advanced theory test. SIGH! jus hope he enjoys himself and buys nice stuff for me! hehehe.
kinda angry w jude and the rest. stupid spice girls has disbanded i guess. pam thinks amk is dead. evangy has disappeared to her parents church or sth. mel died or sth. jude only cares abt canoeing and esther.. nick. so sick and tired of it all. that i always hafta be the one who organises and bothers to make the effort to bond everyone tog. sometimes they dont even appreciate. so sick and tired of it. at least i had a great tym w celest yest ;) tired. i want brian.
shld i go to his office tdy? maybe after bathing or sth. i need to jog. oh well we'll see how. i'm in loveeeeeeee w him. my brad pitt. i wont ever get sick of him i think. maybe i'll keep sayin i'll be sian, but in my heart of hearts, i doubt so. oh well, time will tell. tired. better end here. wanna slp heh.

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/17/2004 01:41:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Thursday, May 13, 2004  
Some things are better left to be done. :) Just boarded the bus. Wanted to hmmm but no time. =P You looked good today. As always. *muacks* :)
07/06/04 13:35
he came over for lunch and we had a great lunch at mr bean's cafe! i was wearin my white top and pink skirt!

"Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, sweet dreams that leave your worries behind you. In your dreams whatever they be, dream a little of me." Heh! *muacks* :)
07/06/4 03:57

Alright. Wake me up at the usual time k dear? It's so nice to hear your voice first thing i wake. *beams* Goodnight dear. I miss and love you. *muacks* :)
06/06/04 23:40
usually wake him up at 1030 so tt we can meet for lunch! :)

*muacks* I still can't believe how we always seem to msg each other at the same time?! I mean, so many minutes and hours btween us yet we msg at the same time!
06/06/04 18:07
He was playing soccer and we msged at the sameeee time after he finished. lyk super coincidental!

Was really worriedfor you today. Didn't work out coz i rushed down to your work place. Always the love dear. Always the hours. *muacks* Goodnight princess. :)
04/06/04 23:58
He came down to see doc w me at burlington sq :)

What's new right dear? Fate? You tell me. :) Have a great timea t the concert and hopefully you'll be smart enough to come home early and rest. Love you.
04/06/04 16:46
went for hillsongs concert w grace pris zw n zw's fren frank and we msged at same time again!

Taking short 40 winks every now and then. You now what dear? I get this warm tingling feeling when i lie down in my office with the towel on the floor! Hehe!
03/06/004 09:33
cos we always hmmm with the towels on the floor in his office. heh but its cute. cos i tot only i had the tingling sensation when we kissed or sth :)

Are you mad?! You gotta be kidding me?! It's you that makes me think that you don't want me from time t time. After all i've done, can't you see?
31/05/04 19:19
I told him i think he doesnt want me anymore cos i've been making him unhappy. heh

I dont know what are your felings towards me at this point of time whereby things aren't going right for you but i wanna tell you smething. I love you dear.
30/05/04 22:35

I've always been true and honest with you. No exception this time around. Yes, you do whine and throw tantrums aroudn and yes, you're materialistic and quick to criticise but you know what dear? I'm embracing you cos i love you and believe you can change. Love penetrates deeper than the superficial. *hug*
30/05/04 22:33
I was telling him i'm so pissed w zhiwei and what zhiwei said abt me in his blog.

The path of life has its fair share of gravels and rocky terrains. Rough sands. I'll pick you up when you fall and dust the dirt off your knees and you'll be on your way again. I may not be your eternal sunshine but i'm always ready to radiate warm rays into your life. To see you smile and laugh again. :)
30/05/04 22:28
I really like this msg but i was so disappointed when i saw he sent eugenia the same thing abt the 'dust ur dirt..." sigh

Darl...I've always been holding your hand. Lending you my shoulder to cry and lean on. Eveready to embrace you with open arms. I'm with you dear. Trust me?
30/05/04 22:21

Don't i help alleviate the pain? Dear, cry if you must but also know that my heart aches each time i know you cried. It does darl. Be strong k? *hug*
30/05/004 21:59

Dear...Still in the cinema but i can't help but think of you and how bad you're feeling. You hang in there alright dear? I'll call you as soon as the movie ends. Don't break down coz i won't let you. You hear me? I WON'T YOU!!!! *muacks* I love you.
30/05/04 16:29
I was very dejected cos of the law thing. and i had the appeal the nix mornin. we met briefly at wisma for lyk less than 5 mins then he went to watch 'day after tmw' w zhiwei, bert and their fren. whilst i was with the spices.

Let me tell you that it ain't easy, not one bit, to swallow the fact that your special someone calls you those names and uses vulgar languages.
30/05/004 00:57

I just know that you're more than that to say such things. You think i like to hear my very own princess sayin those words and calling me an ass or asshole?
30/05/04 00:56


I just want you to be happy. Though we have our fair share or arguements, i still love you dear. It strengthens our bond. It was funny today right? naugghty!!!
30/05/04 00:04
He came over to my house for a quickie. hhehe first time he came and the quickie was lyk 50mins?! hha and he had to rush for cg after rushin to my hse from work hehe so cute!

I want to go and patronise Jln Raya's brothel. Coz the girl there is mine! Hahaha! *muacks* :)
29/05/04 21:22
He met his sergeants and army mates for dinner and they wanted to go geylang for post dinner activities. heh.

29/05/04 13:57
Dear...Be it whether it's good or bad, day or night, near or far, i'll always be 2 steps behind. One step for you to have your own space, the other for me to move closer to embrace you with open and outstretched arms. To shower and cover you with all my love. Just know and remind yourself of that. *hug*

I'm not loving you coz of similarities from my past relationship. In fact, i've never seen it that way till you brought it up last night over sms. Never did i thought that i liked you coz you were similar to her. Never. Yes, though both of you are kinda same in terms of character, i love you for being U.
29/05/04 13:25

I think twice as to whether it's worth making the effort, when i seem to be the only proving to you that i'm really making sacrifices here. I'm not regretting or anything. You say you sacrificed law for me but that's a feeling dear. Mine's reality. I've lost my closest friends for what i believe in. You
29/05/04 08:49

When you make a mistake, apologise, learn and don't repeat it. I want you and i want you to change your flaws as you see them. I love you dear. I do.
28/05/04 23:34

Though i feel a lil' stupid and cheated tonight. I did it because of you. No one else. I wanted to call you to cancel our meeting coz of the rain but i told myself that even the rain can't stop me from seeing you. It's a matter of how much you want it. How important it is to you. You are important.
28/05/04 23:08
Val and i were on our shoppin spree then it rained heavily. we were sup t met at city hall but i was stuck so he came to paragon. then i made him wait and val came along for a while so in the end he just sent me home when we were supp to shop tog :( my bad.

If you haven't realised, i have told you "i love you" less than 10 times, i reckon. Never did say that in the past. They speak for themselves how special you r!
28/05/04 01:03
He seldoms say 'i love you'. was so happy when he finally did after awhile :)

That's where you're wrong dear. I love you for being you. Period. Don't question me on that. It's not you looks. It's not your capabilities. It's you. You dear.
28/05/04 00:39

You know when Kate and Jim were lying down on the ice, he said that he was happy and i questioned myself a i happy? The answer was yes. Sadly enough, when i asked myself are you happy?...I couldn't answer myself. I didn't know. I'm not sure as to wether you're truly happy or just happy.
27/05/04 23:49
We watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind starrin elijah wood, kate winslet, kirsten dunst and jim carrey. sorta resemblance and applied to us. the lovers wanted to erase the memories of each other after they broke up.

27/05/04 08:20
Thanks sweets! you're my candy, my lolipop!!! hahaha! I wanna LICK you! To SUCK you! Hahaha! There's a gay in the gym now! And he's the only one in the gym!!!

Like I said, you'll never know how faithflu i can be so dont say that i'll leave you. If i can give up my closest friends for you, that speaks volume.
26/05/04 22:16

I love you dear.
26/05/04 22:10
the simplest but most powerful :)

And when i read thru my blog entry, i couldn't help but feel sad coz i couldn't seem to feel that you really love me. The trust level is just no longer there.
26/05/04 15:09

I admit that my faith and turst in you were shaken last night and i'm hopin you help me trustyou again. I was thinkin about it just now and i'm kinda determined to get my degree in sports science or management when you get yours so that your parents won't look down on my anymore. Both got degrees! :)
26/05/04


You don't know how much that meant and mattered to me. Never let go. Dear..I gave up my closest friends for you. The rebuilding process begins....I love you. :)
26/05/04 00:11
we had a quarrel that day. cos of this stupid msg i sent to myself. wantedd to test his reaction and it was bad.
well he tot i didnt want him, but in the end i said yes.

23/04/04 09:42
I meant every word. That's why i too said, "if you still want me." I wanna be around for you when you're feeling down dear. I'm stickin to my promise.

25/04/05 00:41
Just finished my qt and sleeping now. I may not know what the future holds but i do hope that part of my future is you. *hug* Together thru good and bad dear.

I'll definitely save the biggest and warmest hug for you tom. I mean, who else do i hug? With a free flow of sweet kisses! We'll go somewhere quiet alright? :)
24/05/04 22:49
i didnt get into law :( was depressed.

Whatever you do i'll be 2 steps behind you...wherever you go and i'll be there to remind you that it only takes a min8te of your precious time to turn around, i'll be 2 steps behind you. Your happiness, goals, endeavours and aspirations before me dear. Though i love you, i want to see you happy *hug*
24/05/04 20:56 (my new samsung msgs)

The last few days showed me how much you meant to me. I perpetually couldn't do anything without you crossing my mind. Serious. I missed you till it hurt. *hug*
21/05/04 23:25:59

I'm off to dreamland to meet you dear. Don't run away coz i'll catch up with you! Heh! I'll grab hold of you in my arms, never letting you go! Haha
21/05/04 23:20:53
sooo cute!

You looked sporty tonight. I like. :) Like a beach babe! You smelled great too! Kinda turned on but too bad cant hmmm... ;) The slow, gentle kisses... :) *hugs*
21/05/04 21:48:43
He came over to my hse when my parents went out for alpha course. we ate behind and sat on the pavement later :) nice. delicate.

When you first came out of Patty's, i would have hugged and kissed you if your friend didn't come out! That was how badly i missed you! I missed you soooo much!
21/05/04 16:02:12
hai that busybody came out too! heh

You looked pretty!!! The pink and white combination match really well. It was so good seeing you again! Missed you so much! Factoy was shut the last few days!
21/05/04 15:42:07
heh :) he came back from KL and bluffed me he was still there. gamme a surprise over at pattys :) and i tot i looked disgusting cos i anyhow wear heh. the white gio top and pink skirt :)

I love it when my lips touch yours and feel its warmth and moisture! I'll take it along with me to KL! heh! Though we may be miles away, i'm never far baby!!!
18/05/04 17:49:44
He was gonna leave for KL this particular night :( and he came over to patty's awhile to bid last gd byes :( missed him soo much!

Fate? You tell me? Heh! I'm starting to think that we're meant for each other! Made for each other? How do you account for all the times that were "SAME"!!! :)
12:00:49 18/05/04
as usual, we were always saying the same things, msgin at the same time, thinkin of the same things! :)

How long will you feed me? How long will you hold my hand? How long will you kiss me? How long will you hug me? How long will you love me? Can it be quantified?
22:22:15 17/05/04

I miss you dear. I miss you princess. I miss you, Pamela Tan Li Hsiang. *hug* Stay close forever k? :...and the reason is you." *smile* I miss you.
20:16:10 17/05/04

Wanted to tell you this in the taxi just now...While kissing you then, it reminded me of the simply pleasures that kissing you brings. Rest well my dear. *hug*
22:38:58 16/05/04
we took a cab back from great world city cos it was alr quite late after watchin troy. we kissed on the ride back cos we didnt get to earlier on. the cinema was so crowded!

Super tired dearie. Just wanna tell you that i really missed you yesterday!!! I did!!! I did!!! Falling asleep already. Tell me watcha wearin k? Goodnight! =)
01:53:43 16/05/04
We met on mon-fri but not saturday so missed each other alot :) so sweet of him.

Don't make me so happy already lah! Later i really marry you then your mum will plot to kill me or oubilee meeeee!!! Haha! Whatever!!! I'm mad about you!!!
23:49:06 13/05/04

You might wanna know ths...When i first saw you just now outside Patty's, i was like *WOOOAH* You looked simple yet stunning! Pretty! I like!!! Heh!! *whistle*
15:47:20 13/05/04
He came over to haf lunch :) i was wearin the dark green racer back and white and green striped toss skirt.

You're such a darl you know? So sweet that ants would be crawling all over you tonight!!! Your efforts tonight was and is the epitome of sweetness!!! Heh!! :)
22:52:16 12/05/04
I bought him the zara chinese collar shirt and surprised him :)

That's one of the nicest surprise i ever had! I love the shirt coz you know that i've been lookin around for a China collared shirt ever since the Kenneth Cole on! So long already! I didnt want to buy it coz i'm just not the extravagant type to buy on impulse and that's why your surprise was so sweet!!
22:38:25 12/05/04

*blush* Dont say already!!! You really made my day!!! I really didnt expect you to buy the shirt! Super happy and grateful! REALLY!!! What did mum say?
22:30:53 12/05/04

Had a grrrrreat time with you today! Euphoria!!! Thank you so (x100) much for the shirt!!! I was dumbfounded!!! *mmmmuacksss* Really awesome evening!!! *smile*
22:21:19 12/05/04

A chapter of my life was closed years ago and i'm on a new one now, with you. Whatever physical activities we engage now, shouldn't be compared to before k dear?
09:11:25 12/05/04

Wished i was next to u hugging and cuddling you to sleep and when we wake, we'll still be locked in each other's arms! Heh! That would be nice! Nites precious!
23:46:31 11/05/04

I hope my precious had a good run! *add oil* Heh! ~muackies~ :) going to sleep now. Wake me up with your voice at 2030? Thanks a bunch dearie!!! You rock!!!
18:43:32 11/05/04

I miss you. I miss you as i lay restlessly on my bed at night. I miss you even when i'm angry with you. I miss you just by missing you. I miss you. ~Sugarush
13:23:06 11/05/04

Pretty enough for me! :) Let's face it, there are people out there prettier than you and more handsome than me but at the end of the day. I look for the heart.
20:43:34 10/05/04

Pam. You're a person whom i've come to have a soft spot for. Special and dear you are. precious. Enjoyed every moment spent with you. Goodnight dearie. Hearts.
23:25:57 09/05/04

If you haven't realised, we've watched each other grow through the years. Isn't that "growing old with you?" =) Do you see us still together in 2009?
22:05:45 08/05/04
I sent him a msg abt growin old tog :) but i din know it was the adam sandler song heh. so paiseh.he did a remix on the blog ;)









Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/13/2004 11:11:00 AM

 
sigh.he bathed w her before. yucks. i cant imagine. seriously. and i cant imagine what else they've done. but well 2 1/2 years. what else'll u do? *sigh* but well, i did quite alot myself but it sucks when u're not the first. i hate it i hate it. sigh. whyyy. iv only he din know her then and i was his first. sad. i wish i could haf given all my first tyms to him too.
been seein him everyday. mon he came down for lunch and we ate wanton mee. tues he came down after work we ate tau hui. and of cos hmmm at the blocks :) yest we watched van helsing, had crystal jade for dinner and i bought him the chinese collared shirt from zara to surprise him. 69.90 man. so broke. now i can buy what i want *sigh* gotta save. soooo broke. gg shoppin w xuan ltr and celest on sunday. cant wait.
really enjoyed my tym w him but i spent 100bucks yest. cant believe him. paid for crystal jade too. cant imagine man. but well he has spent alot on me too :) and i wouldnt complain cos i guess its well worth it :) he's such a darlin. when we were at crystal jade i told him i needed to make a call and i went to buy the zara shirt. when the zara salesman saw me, he was lyk, the m shirt? and i was lyk yeah. heh. i kept askin him not to buy it so i could buy it for him. devised all kindsa plans to buy it and surprise him :) and he was so happy i think he was dumbfounded. heh. sooo cute :) and we had 2 rounds of hmm! heh. sometimes really feel lyk doin it *grin*
and he's comin over later again for lunch *wheewhit* cant wait! i'm also seein him tmw when i go gym! tt'll be 5 times in a row. the most ever. so happy. wonder iv i'll get sian of him. anw he said i'm not ready for a rship, cos i'm too self centred, get jealous too easily and too pampered. hmm but i wonder how long this thing will last. i wanna be his GF officially. but will he be able to provide for me. for my lavish and extravagant lifestyle. sigh. i really wanna be a tai tai. we'll see abt it :) he's sucha darl. makes me go nuts over him :) superrrrrrr cute! jus hope this wont cause my downfall in life, rejected my mass com, scholarships and LAW?! sigh. i really dunno. and i think we're two very h pple. goshieee! cant imagine our private getaway what'll happen! *grin* oh well how howw? cant wait for him to come later :) i loveeeee him *hurray*

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/13/2004 10:43:00 AM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Monday, May 10, 2004  
sigh keep quarrelling w brian nowadays. its gettin to me. i alr told myself man, by end of july, iv its still not workin out, i reckon i'll let go. iv i ever bear to. it sucks that he and diana were tog. i dun lyk being the 2nd! and its lyk diana and i are so similar, he said we even said the exact same things. and she's also easily jealous so i'm gonna try hard. dunno iv its cos i wanna ebat her or cos i really lyk him. sigh. think i'll get sian soon plus my parents hate him so much. my mom jus shouted and asked him to stop bugging me over the phone last nite whilst we were talkin. that was seriously totally uncalled for.
and somehow i feel its wrong morally. we've alr gone so far physically. even tho its only slightly over a month and i cant imagine what else will happen iv it continues. feel its too based on physical. dun even know whether it will work out. dun wanna think abt what he and diana did man. plus i jus saw her friendster photo and i saw one of em was her dog and brian was holdin it. could easily recognise his tan, watch, blue striped polo ralph tee and teva slippers. well but he told me he hasnt talked to her for more than a year, so i guess that was quite long ago. sometimes i think she still has feelings for him and now she's onto my daniel.
argh damn pissed w brian again la. cant stand it. really gettin on my nerves. fuckin irritating. and last sat 8th may supp to be 1mth but it wasnt sure hell one month anni. it was full of anger, unhappiness. just damn pissed off. dunno how much longer i can take it. argh.

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/10/2004 03:23:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Saturday, May 08, 2004  
sorta quarrelled w brian over eugenia's bday. shld've seen it cominghe actually bought her pres and remembered her. lyk sorta wanna gif her surprise so he din msg her and she prolly tot he forgot.
i was kinda pissed he din tell me. argh.
i'm jus super sensitive against her cos of zm i guess.
lyk cmon. that tym she tot zm lyked her or sth when they called eu his gf. lk huh. please lah. she's not even pretty or smart. i'm sure she can compare. but still. she thinks she's great lah. pissed off man.
its not that i dun trust him enough also. but i jus felt that he shld've told me instead of keeping me in the dark. rite? or am i too unreasonable? lyk jus expect him to be nice to me. i guess thats why it sucks. that he's mr nice guy and he's nice n sweet to lyk everyone. arghhhh so angry. so i guess this is where the problems start.
i dunno. but i was thinkin abt it and lyk, will i wanna be w him? i dunno. sigh. i diun even know when this will long, how long this will last.
and i know zhiwei is right. in the way that i know this is wrong but i'm lettin my heart rule over my head. and its lyk i've lyked brian for so long. how to gif ot up now? *sigh* i'm confused.
so he says he's disappointed w me for not trustin him enough or having faith in him even tho he's been tryin so hard. but its not that i dun trust him. i know he's faithful and stuff. but its just EUGENiA. and anw i msged her happy bday last nite. sian. damn pissed off lah. dunno what'll happen now. we'll see how it goes. iv i'm pisseed i'll jus go meet some other guys lah *screams* so frustrating. BGR problems *shakes head* and i tot i wouldnt be experiencing this shit aggain *sigh*

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/08/2004 01:51:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Thursday, May 06, 2004  
oh well the damn tagger is back again. damn irri. i'm lyk super hated in church? hhaa but i dun care, as long as i haf my own frens. who cares. its really lyk enough i guess. not tt i mix ard much in church.
anw howwwwwwwwwwwwww! will i get sian of brian? sometimes i think so. and it doesnt help tt my parents are super against him.
but well had a nice tym w him at ikea and queensway.
i jus feel so comfortable and myself when i'm w him :)
dunno what else to say tdy hah. sian typin my blog and beepee's blog!

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/06/2004 11:15:00 AM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Tuesday, May 04, 2004  
dunno which crazy asshole went to my blog and did some major damage by sayin really mean things abt me. lyk i'm a bimbo, i'm destroying the life of an innocent boy i'm not gd enouf for him. who do i think i am. fuckkkk siah.
i wonder who it is, i guess its either diana or dot. anw the fucker also said anwei knows and he's gonna talk brian out abt it and that its not secret that brian and i are tog. but hello, we aint even tog?! and taht what wil brian think iv he knows i swear. but i'm sure he knows la. hhaha he does.
anw tues we met for dinner at SG we both wore formally. black and white. he looked so good. anw i din enjoy myself as much. act getin sian of the palce and he says i'll get sian of him too. wed we watched kill bill but couldnt really concentrate at 1st cos of hmmm. thurs i went to his office to visit him and bought subway for him! after my law interview and i had lunch w mich at cartel, which is soooooo coincidental. cos grace's mom dropped us there and its so near his office haha.. fri went there w sharon to his gym! then later both of us ate tau hui and drank after that heh. didnt spend any time at the park cos my parents picked me at the bus stop. i misss him so much! then on sunday, only could talk to him and meet him for awhile. he was at hans w his cg and i was w est mel n nick at the tim sum restaurant. i missed him so much moreeeee! after that brief meeting and we msged the same thing again! alot of things always happen at the same time, esp when we msg. everyth jus seems to fall in place :)
he's coming over soon! yayeee! miss him tons! feeling so fat now.
kinda moody recently and i'm lyk startin to get pissed w hime asily. dunno why. he sorta reminds me of zm sometimes hmm :( which is really bad
oh and he completed readin the bible on sat nite and he always had this tot that his life'll end after he finish readin the bible. hmm so he waskinda scared he'd die during soccer or sth. i was scared too. i dont ever want him to. i'l be so lost w/o him :(
ok better end here. dun wanna put anyth else n my other blog cos ple'll know abt me and him.!

Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/04/2004 03:00:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +

Monday, May 03, 2004  
luckily i called ur office first. was thinking of dropping by just to give my darl a tight squeeze and kiss. have a gd time and try not to sprain your neck.
24/04/04 17:29:58
left work early to watch tad hmailton w lychee :( he wanted to come down!

You're also kinda good eh? heh! sometimes really feel like giving in to you but got control lah! Hmmm... You're not bad either! :) Still feeling good!
25/04/04 16:01:51

I'd rather pamper you emotionally. Gifts are nice but what comes from the heart is what that matters right? All i want is for u to be happy. i hope you are.
21:33:43 25/04/04

See what i meanabout responsibility dear. You always never look after your things. be more careful k??? next time u'll leave me behind for another guy!!!
25/04/04 20:51:26
left the waterbottle that i bought him on the chair where we had steamboat/bbq luckily the waiter ran up to me and returned it :)

I always look and gaze at you when you arent aware my dear. =) thats why i changed it to that msg sent to you. we're always gazing into each other's eyes! :)
26/04/04 00:44:43

Just about to sleep. I sent you that msg cos i noticed that we tend to grin and smile when we gaze into each other's eyes. =) simple love gazing at you! :) to see how you eat, how you frown and your facial expressions. so cuteeee!! :) i'm g;ad we had brunch together. it was lovely. goodnight dear.
26/04/04 02:26:09

May Pamela Tan Li Hsiang get the warmest of hugs, wettest of kisses, sweetest of dreams, and the soundest of sleeps. Goodnight pink princess! Dream of meeee! :)
26/04/04 02:41:27

Hey dear... Listen to me. I dont want you feeling scared coz i'll be here for you despite being busy today alright? Think of tom night! It'll be great! *huggies*
15:58:36 26/04/04
I was scared cos lynn came to patty's and she's gonna work here. ack!

Dearie...I'm moody but i know i'll perk up upon meeting you coz it's my pinky, kinky princess i'm meeting for a romantic dinner! :) give meeeeeee!!!
27/04/04 11:24:41

Dear...Tired as i am, you know you've always got me supporting, reassuring and edifyin you ya? you're never alone for i'm perpetually thinkin of you! *hug* :)
29/04/4 08:22:38

Fear not princess. With you in your heart. Feel it. :) *muacks*
29/04/04 10;41:35
the day of my law interview :(

Read, relax, PRAY and think of meeeee! :) Miss you darl. be yourself and focus. My Pam will do just fine. Fear to faith! Believe.
29/04/04 10:53:38

Stay close dear. Dont let go. we ARE going to weather this "storm". Believe.
29/04/04 21:03:04
After i read what pple said abt me and him on my blog. i was sad. cried.

Anyway, what i wanted to tell you is that i feel we should focus more on building each other up thru faith(god), trust and support. so when such times come, we are steadast, we are not shaken coz we have a solid foundation. Amen? Yes, people can shake us but can they break us? Think abt it dear. :)
29/04/04 23:13:11

I want you to know this at all times...Part of my happiness stems from yours. It's that important to me alright darl? *hug* :) You're more than words can say.
30/04/04 00:18:43

Thanks dear. That's very reassuring. It's comforting to know that. =) Yup, "Dont let go" :) Stay close dear for i'm never far. See you later *muacks*
30/04/04 12:02:31

Reminiscing of the past again eh? I know my dear likes that. :) I know you more than you know yourself rem? =P I know your lingerie sizes! haha!
30/04/04 15:33:37
was on the way to nus, passed by our church yf camp site, where we walked for so long ;)

Oh...You didnt tell me that the woman is his wife. Well..women, submit to your husbands. biblical you know? heh! submit to meeee! hahaha!
3/04/04 18:11:45
was tellin him abt the law interview essay, abt the man raping his wife. heh

Aiyah...My dear is infamous for being late anyway! =P She makes an effort for me though. =) If you dont submit to me, i ask Eu to! =P You had better call her ya
30/04/04 18:29:14
I was late to meet sharon cos traffic jam after law interview. heh ;)

there was never a time that i wasnt ready to forgive you despite the times where you shouted or disappointed me. never. dont be silly my princess. i miss you!
01/05/04 14:41:07

If till then we're still having the same feelings currently felt, i would seriously consider. seriously. That's why i dont want to move too fast. build up!
01/05/04 14:55:11
he said he'll consider marryin me iv 5 years later we're still lidat :)

The process has already started changing my dear. Slowly but surely i'm seeing positive changes in my darl and i'm proud of her! *beams* 3 cheers for her!!! :)
01/05/04 15:00:20
I was sayin that we hafta change for each other and make our weaknesses our strengths cos of each other :)

Hey...I know this sound really stupid and silly but if anything happens to me, i want you to know that you're really special to me and that you've made me so happy. I like to think it's not by chance that we've been friends for so long. It's all a part of our lives' journey. You take care ya? promise me.
02/05/04 13:04:23
He thought he was gonna die on the field during soccer. cos he always had this thought that his life would end after he finished readin thebible. and he completed it the night b4. was so worried ;(

I'm missing you dear. Really am. I think we shouldn't have met for jus that lil while jus now, misisng you more after that brief meeting. heh! *muacks* =)
02/05/04 13:15:20
At thomson plaza he was at hans i was at the tim sum restaurant. we met a while b4 i left for gardens to meet song :)

When i scored those goals...the first thing i thought of was you! that i kept the promise i made to myself, to score for you! *beams* for you my dear! :)
02/05/04 18:35:31
he scored 3 goals for me whilst playing soccer :) yayee, like the mws soccer tournament in 99 where he dedicated de 1st goal he scored to me. cos i lent him 20bucks for his soccer boots when we went queensway.

:) Nice to hear that. Just in case you feel insecure...I totally DON'T have any feelings for anyone else except you! Honest :) I'm faithful. Promise.
03/05/04 16:55:42
I was reassuring him that I dont haf any feelings for anyone else cept him. cos he kept thinkin i haf sth gg on w kenneth :)

It's like i'm addicted to you dear!!! Having withdrawal symptoms!!! You're a drug! My drug!!! I'm the druglord!!! heh! I miss you millions, billions, zillions!!
03/05/04 18:12:25

You dummy lah!! Might as well tell you! When i woke up, the 1st thing i told myself was that :i'm going to patson's" coz i miss my baby too much already!!!
04/05/04 12:23:44
The last time we met was on sunday. but for very brief. and fri went to gym but sharon was w us too :)

Sleep well precious princess. Dream of me and only me, mee, meeee!!! Heh! You will never fathom how much you mran to me. Pamela Seah Li Hsiang! =) *muacks*
08/05/04 00:10:18

I wanted to save this coz i thought that i'll be able to meet you afer i finish work but i didnt have the time...Happy 1st anniversary precious. *muacks* :)
08/5/04 16:54:55
one month since 8th april when we had our 1st kiss :) tho tdy din turn out well cos i was unhappy abt the eugenia thing.


Pamela
+ is a not your average girl at +
5/03/2004 05:03:00 PM

+ + + + + + + + + +